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“I felt something was wrong”
This is the sentence that kept repeating in my head over and over again since I heard it from my friend.
It was the answer she gave me that day when I asked her:
”why did you stop posting and commenting in our facebook group?”
At that moment she just replied:
“I felt something was wrong! I was wondering why it is happening to me!
I was asking myself : how can I be too shy to look directly into the eyes of any of my male classmates and lower my gaze in front of him….but then, on this mixed group, I talk to him normally as if he is a closed friend of mine?! We exchange comments and likes …we even crossed the limits and started to crack jokes and be intimate to one another many times. There, I am not able to control myself as I am spontaneous in nature!
Little by little, I started to feel that they (my male classmates) get used to the way I deal with them. I started to feel that there is a contradiction between:
my image in university, in one hand, where I am walking lowering my gaze, wearing my full Hijab and don’t talk to anyone of them except with Hayaa and if there is a real necessity to do so,
And between my image in internet in that group, in another hand, where I deal with them as if they were close friends and cross limits by joking and laughing with them.
So, when one of the sisters pointed out this subject and waked me up, I was wondering why no one of my female friends in the group has never attracted my attention to that before?!
Then, I found out the answer to my questions: no one attracted my attention to this subject before because they never considered it (mixing with our male classmates and being intimate with them) something wrong.
For them, it is totally the opposite, they like it!
They would say that “we are all classmates”… “it is normal that we deal with each other” …. “We are all respectful”, etc …
At that point, I became so confused!! Who is wrong and who is right?! By being in this group, should I be “open-minded” and “cool” or should I put limits in my relationship with my male classmates?!
If I put limits between me and them, would I be “extremist” or would I be on the right path?!
To find an answer for my questions, I decided to go back to my ”Book of Instructions ” (Qur’an) to which I always go back whenever I feel I am going astray.
And I found what I was looking to in Ayah 32 of Surat Al Ahzab:”be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery, etc.) should be moved with desire”
and also Ayah 21 from Surat An Nour :”do not follow the steps of shaitan”.
On that basis, I reconsidered my actions… I realized that I don’t have to be friendly to all people just because I have a social personality. I also realized that no men should be intimate with me especially that we are young. Shaytaan deceives people and opens the way that leads them to sin. He mixes things that are acceptable with things that are not acceptable, and mixes truth with falsehood. He comes to each person through something that is suited to them.
Personally, I witnessed many situations where someone gets attached to an “internet personality”.
So, as I am so spontaneous and I can neither control my comments nor leave facebook definitely, I decided to leave that mixed group and focus on my facebook page to which I add only my sisters.
There we can joke, laugh and talk freely! And I prayed that Allah protects me from the evil of Fitnah, keeps me away from it and draws me closer to what pleases HIM.
After taking that decision, I became so relieved! All praises to Allah because I won the battle against my Nafs and slam the door in the face of shaytan, a door of fitnah which was wide open, just to please my Lord.
From that day, I became more aware of any comment I write. I check first to whom and what I write before posting it and check if it is really necessary to write it or not.
from now on, I deal with the brothers on facebook with my real personality not my facebooker personality!
Good company was the real strength which helped me to stop following that way and Duaa was my real weapon!